My daughter loves to tell me there’s something wrong with her. I don’t even think she believes it — she’s just conditioned to think that everything has to be a ‘thing’.

Just yesterday we had a conversation about how she can’t stop eating chocolate and she said;

“Mum, I think there’s something wrong with me.”

“Yeah babe — you’re greedy”.

We laughed, but honestly — someone please ban TikTok immediately.

A few weeks ago, her circle of (fully-qualified 15-year-old doctor) friends decided she has ADHD.

Why?

Because she can’t concentrate in Maths.

Girl, please ✋

I mean first of all it’s Maths but let ME tell you, why you can’t concentrate.

You live in a world where your brain’s been trained to switch attention every 3 seconds, since you were 10 — thanks to a glowing screen that’s never more than a meter from your hand.

This world is built on instant gratification. Everything is fast. So fast that I can Amazon Prime a garlic press at 10:03am and it’s on my doorstep by 10:27am.

I’m not waiting for anything, none of us are. We get twitchy when we wait 30 seconds for a reply (don’t get me started on the blue ticks ughh). 🙄

And when we do have to wait? When we do have to sit or be still — It feels like actual pain.

We have completely forgotten how to be bored or just ‘be’ at all and if we do sit, in nothingness — we can’t do it for too long or we’ll start to feel anxious.

Because we always need to be doing something, to feel human. To prove that we exist.

That’s not a disorder. That’s modern life.

We have so much more but feel so much less. Human connection is reserved for phones — we show love by double tapping, swiping, sending 🔥 emojis.

Get outside and please look someone in their actual eyeballs.

We don’t crave connection, we crave dopamine. And when we don’t have it, we convince ourselves we’re depressed.

I feel it — the pressure, the overstimulation, the ‘too many tabs open, I can’t breathe in my own fucking head’ vibe.

The need to be and do everything whilst carrying the weight of a world that never lets your brain take a breath.

We do everything to excess.

We work full time jobs, check in with our friends like it’s a full time job, scroll social media like it’s a full time job. We cook, clean, think, plan, order, put out various fires — everything is urgent.

Everything is now.

Then we put our heads on our pillow at night and wonder why we can’t sleep?

🧠 All the while, your brain’s just there like — is this woman fucking joking?

We’re in six mental places at once. Drafting a post whilst working, replying to group chat, stirring a pot, half listening to a podcast with an online basket full of stuff you started ordering yesterday.

**Let me tell you something — just because we can (semi) multitask doesn’t mean we should.

Let’s be real, you’re not doing any of it well at this point.

This isn’t because you’re broken.

This is what happens when you live in a world that never stops fucking talking.

Even me, someone who craves slow, someone who needs slow — gets dragged onto this hamster wheel like everyone else.

Because you can’t just allow slowness now— you have to force it. The world will not slow down for you.

You have to slow down in spite of it.

Now let me be clear — I’m not dismissing real ADHD. That’s not what this is. But I am calling out the culture that labels people for not thriving in a system that’s designed to keep them distracted and disconnected.

We’ve created the problem and then told people they’re the problem.

I promise you — your brain is not broken.

It’s overwhelmed.

From living in a world that monetises your attention and then blames you for being distracted.

We’ve confused over stimulation with illness and we’ve turned completely normal reactions into self diagnoses.

Little side note 📝

I had parents’ evening recently with said Maths teacher, after her ‘diagnosis’.

He said he’d noticed she struggled to maintain focus and asked if I had any insight.

“Well… she hates it. She just hates Maths”

No further analysis needed.

He laughed and said, “Yeah. Fair enough.”

See, she’ll sit in art class for five hours, throw a ball at a wall all day, she’s creative but Maths? Nah. That’s not ADHD. That’s preference my friend.

And I’m not about forcing anyone (especially children), into boxes they have no business being in.

Focus on your strengths baby.

So before you diagnose yourself

• Have you actually let your brain be quiet lately?

• Have you gone one full hour without reaching for your phone?

• Have you completed one task from start to finish without flipping between six others?

• Are you giving your mind space to think before feeding it something else to think, do or fix?

If not, maybe this will help

• Block off time — Schedule time for specific tasks and stick to it. Don’t try and answer emails while cooking pasta while voice noting your mate. Your brain deserves more respect, your nervous system deserves more respect. If and when various thoughts arise — write them down and deal with them after you’ve finished what you’re doing.

• Phone free time — Not minutes, hours. Put your phone in another room and just be. Get a colouring book, do some origami, find a new hobby. Do something, anything, that allows you to lose track of time and does not include staring at mindless crap on the internet.

• Stillness first thing — Don’t pick your phone up the second you open your eyes (I was so good at this before I joined Substack 😉). Let your brain wake up and choose how it feels before you flood it with everyone and everything else. Enjoy the peace, your nervous system will thank you 🙏

• Let yourself be bored — Boredom is not a symptom, it’s a message and one you will not die from if you listen to. Allow your mind to breathe. Schedule in ‘nothing’ time. Don’t make plans. Go outside, do some yoga, pick flowers, lie on the floor. Do nothing. This is how you discover who you are without the noise. By allowing yourself to be fucking quiet.

  ---

I challenge you

To try just one day of doing less.

Pick one moment where you let yourself be still and notice how uncomfortable it is.

Notice how many things rush into your mind and lean all the way into them.

Because in that stillness — you’ll meet the part of you that actually knows what she wants (the one who is sick to death of screaming at you).

So no babe, you don’t have ADHD

Now, go eat some chocolate 🍫

With love x

✋ If you’re sick of feeling like your brains about to combust — you really don’t need another self help book that you don’t have time to read.

⚡️You need someone to strip back all the noise, the labels and the excuses so you can hear yourself think for the first time in years.

🔥 No fluff. No 10 step programmes. Just real conversations that land like truth and leave you with no choice but to wake the fuck up.

Come join me. I’ll even let you keep your shoes on.

Show your support ❤️‍🔥

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